Curse of Christmas
by AbbyF809
Summary: Lizzie is "cursed" and Red is trying to help. Note: There are no paranormal phenomena in this story
1. Chapter 1

I am back with a new story which I wouldnt post if it weren't for you awsome guys! Thanks for keeping up the support, it makes me really happy(and keeps me writing!):)

Alright, let's start with this new story of mine.

I guess I have to warn ya all that this is a bit different than my usual stories. I think the people that like action won't be really satisfied with it but the fluff lovers out there will appreciate my humble try to write another fluff story(in hope that it will flow better than the last. I mean...I did put in some action after all;)) As far as I can tell, it's also not going to have that many chapters. But maybe we will all get surprised:)You know how it is...I am writing while posting(almost).

Ok...enough blabbering from me! Have fun with the Prologue!

**Diclaimer: **I do not own the Blacklist or its characters. I also dont make any money with this story! It's just for fun!

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><p>Prologue<p>

Snowflakes were falling down and dancing around in the air, as if playing with each other and being happy to finally fall down to the earth and bring joy and happiness to the people. The cold was not too hard on those living in the cities, so that the citizens of Washington were able to marvel in the wonder that was Christmas time. Children were running around and enjoying the first snow of the year, throwing snowballs, building snowmen and dragging their parents from one shop window to the next, squealing every time they saw something they wanted to add to their a long time ago finished Christmas list.

Only a few kilometers away from the city, a luxurious house stood in the middle of a forest and was shrouded in darkness. Except for one window on the second floor. There was a small light emitting from inside and a little shadow was falling onto the glass. Drawing nearer, one good recognize a small girl of about four years sitting on the windowsill and looking longingly outside. The interior of the house lay silent and empty, not in serenity but in awaiting for something to happen. The girl watched the flame from her candle flicker as if it wanted to tell her something and she smiled for a second, before going back to look out of the window. Her dark hair was falling unruly into her pale, porcelain like face and she swept it behind her ear with a tiny hand.

A sudden bang from downstairs made her flinch and she jumped to the floor, hastily blew out the candle and ran to her bed. She could hear footsteps coming up the stairs and she pulled the covers up to her chin and turned her back to the door. The door opened with a creek but closed again after only a second. The footsteps became quieter and the girl started to breathe again. Her tense body relaxed and she turned around, staring at the door. Raised voiced drifted into her ears, making her rise her head in curiosity. Guests that late in the evening?

Throwing back her covers, the girl sat up, closed one hand around the stuffed bunny sitting beside her, and raised it to her face.

"You have to be very quiet now." She whispered into its ear and still clutching it in her arm, she got out of the bed and tip toed to the door. Opening it carefully and with practice, the voices became louder and the girl tried to understand what was being said.

"What do you mean you don't have the money?" she didn't know that voice but the man it belonged to seemed to be upset.

"You'll have to wait. Business is slow these days and the government is searching for us." That was her daddy, but why did he sound so strange again? And what was this _govnment _he was talking about?

"I don't care. We had a deal."

"I am asking you to have a few more days of patience."

The girl heard heavy footsteps and she shrank back into her roon, not closing her door though.

"I don't have any patience. If I don't have the money on my account by tomorrow, I will go to the police. I don't have anything to lose, but you…"

The loud crack startled the girl and she covered her mouth with her bunny so that her scream would be muffled. The dull, heavy sound following it, made her tummy turn and she stepped back, feeling her eyes water. Sniffling, she tried to hold back the tears, when she heard her mother's voice screaming downstairs. By accident, she stumbled over the rug and tried to gain her balance by grabbing at the door, but only managed it to close rather loudly. A muffled sob worked its way out of her throat and she climbed into her bed as fast as she could. Again footsteps were coming nearer and she knew it were her fathers.

Before she could even try to hide under her blanket, the door opened and her father came in.

"Why are you not asleep?" his deep voice was hard and allowed no lies.

"I…I heard voices."

"You eavesdropped."

"I am sorry." The girl stammered between sobs. She let out a squeal when her father's big hands closed around her arms and shook her slightly.

"You will forget what you have heard, do you understand?"

She didn't dare to answer, she was only able to nod.

"I want to hear you say it. You will forget this day altogether, do you understand?"

"Yes." The hushed voice said full of tears and fear.

The man let go of her and walked back to the door, but before he stepped out, he turned and mustered her.

"I am disappointed, Elizabeth. You know better than to eavesdrop. You know the consequences."

Without another look, he closed the door, leaving the girl sobbing and curled into a ball on her bed. She opened her eyes and her gaze fell on the advent calendar standing on the bedside table, that she had gotten from a neighbor. There was only one window left to open, but she already knew that she would forget about this Christmas. She always did forget the day of and after such an occurrence. Maybe bunny would remember for her and remind her in the future if he needed to.

tbc...

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><p>Sooo...*nervouslyswitching from one foot to the other* what do ya think? I know you can't tell where the story will go eventually at all...but anyway...let me know what you think!<p>

Oh and P.S.

I still dont have a BETA, so please forgive the mistakes that sneak in:)


	2. Chapter 2

Hi there:)

I decided to give ya guys the first chapter a bit earlier than planned. Just because your awsome:)

I dont want to spoil anything, so this time I am going to comment below the story;)

Have fun!

**Disclaimer: **Blacklist is not mine (for details, see Prologue)

Chapter 1

One year later…

Sam was pacing the floor in his living room and from time to time glancing up the stairs. It was only a few months ago that a good friend of his had rang his door bell in the middle of the night, standing in pain and with a scared little girl in his arms in front of him.

As terrified as the little girl had been, his friend hadn't been in a much better state and when he had begged Sam to take the child in, he couldn't refuse. With the help of a few contacts, the adoption had been quick and painless, but the girl hadn't recovered as well as he would have wished.

Sam was interrupted in his musings by the doorbell ringing and stepped hurriedly to his door to open it. The guest he was awaiting would hopefully be able to help him.

A cold wind swept into the house, when the door opened and Sam shivered while a big smile appeared on his face.

"Raymond!" he called out and accepted his friend's bear hug. "I am so glad you found the time to come." The young man in front of him seemed tired, with shadows under his eyes and ruffled short hair.

"Greetings my friend." His deep voice rumbled out of his chest and made Sam believe instantly that this man would be the solution to all his problems. Raymond Reddington was stubborn and determined and if he wanted something, there was no doubt that he would actually get it. "You know that you can always count on my presence when you need it. You sounded worried on the phone."

Sam nodded and his smile dimmed slightly.

"You're right." He agreed and nodded. "But first, come in and warm up. It's really cold out here."

"That's how it is when Christmas comes around." The man joked dryly and stepped over the threshold. Slowly he slipped out of his coat and hung it neatly on the hallstand. Following Sam into the living room, he rubbed his hands against each other, to warm them up. He followed his friend's wordless invitation to sit on the tattered couch and looked around. The house was by no means fancy. The walls were chipped here and there and the furniture was obviously older than Sam himself was. He didn't seem to be a neat freak either, since magazines, clothes and tools were lying around all over the place. But something very important was missing.

"Where is Elizabeth?"

Sam remained silent for a minute, until he sat down on a wooden chair at Reddington's right.

"She is the reason why I've called you, Raymond."

His friend's eyebrows shot up in surprise and he tensed. Telling his friend to take the girl in after rescuing her, had been hard for Reddington. He had held her while she had desperately cried into his shoulder and clung to him as if he was her only lifeline. Those blue eyes of hers, although red and puffy at that time, had enchanted him and it had been hard for him to leave her. Especially after losing his daughter and wife.

When he was about to go, to lick his own wounds, the girl had screamed and pleaded for him not to leave her, but he had to and when he had made her promise to be good to Sam, she had answered with and entirely too mature sounding "of course.".

"I have called you multiple times and you have said she wasn't making any trouble."

"Well, she isn't…directly." Sam sighed and stood up, walking to a cupboard and opened it to get out a plastic container with cookies.

"I know you are used to better food, but…"

"It's alright. I love those." He cut Sam off and reached for a treat, biting immediately into it and chewing, while humming in happiness.

"I've heard people started giving you some nicknames."

Reddington huffed and stared at his friend. Sam didn't look away, but tapped his fingers nervously against the table he was leaning on.

"Concierge of Crime? What are you doing, Raymond?"

Red didn't answer, just reached for another cookie.

"The girl." He urged the conversation on to another topic and was relieved when Sam sighed and relented.

"She is a perfectly good child. She is polite, neat, hell she is even tidying up my own mess from time to time."

Red snorted at that, putting the last bit of cookie into his mouth.

"But she doesn't trust me."

Swallowing the last crumbs, Red looked at him in surprise.

"Not trusting you? I don't believe that."

"Well, how would you call not talking to me unless it is necessary? Or not coming out of her room unless it's breakfast, lunch or dinner time."

"I call that shy." Red growled with a good portion of humor, but deep down he felt concern starting to stir.

"She isn't shy, Ray."

Both man smiled when the nickname slipped out of Sam's mouth, but neither commented.

"Now that Christmas is coming, she has gotten even more withdrawn. When I asked her what she would like to get from Santa, she stared at me as if _I _was that good ol' man himself and told me that there was no Santa and she didn't need anything." Sam shook his head in frustration. "Tell me, Raymond, which five year old does know there is no Santa and doesn't want presents? I know only one and she is currently sitting in her room upstairs and looking out of the window."

"How do you know what she…"

"At this time of day she is always sitting at the window and looking out as if in hypnosis."

Red brushed his hands over the suit he was wearing, letting his friend know that he was slightly nervous and concerned with this situation. When he spoke, it was in a deep and soothing tone.

"Sam, I don't exactly know what was happening in that house she has lived in before the fire. I only know that her father has been a criminal of the most brutal kind and I am hoping that he hasn't brought business home with him."

"Her mother wouldn't have let him hurt her daughter."

"I don't believe _physical _harm has ever come to her."

Silence clouded their conversation and both man were unwilling to let the pictures forming in their heads develop further.

"Let me see her." Red suddenly demanded, knowing full well that Sam wouldn't have any objections.

"By all means." He answered him and raised to his feet, gesturing Red to follow him.

"Give me a second; I have to get something out of the car."

"Did you bring her a present?" Sam asked, curious himself.

"Of course I did." Red smiled and left, only to come back a minute later, with a rather big box, which was wrapped in a colorful wrapping paper, with a bow on top.

"What did you get her?" Sam questioned, peeking around the box.

"Ah ah…" Red warned energetically, pulling the box carefully out of Sam's reach. "It's not your present."

By the way Red was handling the box, something came into Sam's mind and his eyes became round as tennis balls.

"No, you didn't." he called out. "Tell me you didn't buy her…"

"Shhhh…" Red cut him off. "Don't spoil the surprise."

"She can't hear…"

He was interrupted by a silent but distinct clicking sound, coming from upstairs.

"How did you know?" Sam whispered, but didn't get an answer, only a cocky smile.

"Don't expect me to come back before dinner is ready."

"Don't scare her." Sam warned his friend, glancing at the clock. It was still over an hour until dinner and the longest conversation the little girl was willing to have with him until now was ten minutes. He noticed the warm look on Red's face and was surprised when he patted his shoulder.

"Parenthood suits you."

With those words, he turned on his heel and walked up the stairs, turning left, seemingly knowing the house as if it was his own.

Raymond Reddington prided himself in being a fabulous judge of character, which was one of his secrets to his growing business. Knowing whom to trust and whom to fight was a virtue in this milieu. He hadn't been able to spend much time with Elizabeth, but judging from the few hours he had been together with her after he had pulled her out of the burning house, she was an unusually smart but deeply frightened girl. Standing now in front of her room, ready to knock, he remembered moments from the fateful night that had brought their life's together. She had thrown her arms around his neck in that hellhole she was stuck in and he was sure she didn't even notice who had grabbed her. She had wailed and screamed for her daddy and when they had finally gotten out, she had lost consciousness for a few minutes. Red had checked her out but found only a nasty burn on her hand and established with relief that she must have exhausted her body with the screaming. After waking up in the car, Red had carried her to, she had grasped his charred sleeve and gazed at him the whole car ride over. He had no idea what was going through her head, but he hadn't felt like she was scared of him or not happy with him taking her away from the house. Strange, he had thought at that time, but over the next few months he had gathered information on Elizabeth's father and he had the feeling that the girl had endured not only a cold attitude from her father and a helplessly weak mother, but also witnessed things, children just shouldn't see or hear.

Tearing himself from those musing, Red finally knocked at the door and twisted the doorknob upon hearing the timid "Come in." Poking his head inside, Red's gaze fell instantly on the form of the girl sitting on the windowsill. To his surprise, she wasn't looking outside but directly at him. Her prudent, almost piercing gaze made him shiver. Going inside, his first impression of the room, confirmed his suspicion and fear. This child was way too mature for her age and probably also too smart. No pink carpet, no pink wallpapers and no girly toys were to be seen. The only thing giving someone a clue that there was a child here, were the stuffed animals on the bed. Everything else was clinically white and green. He remembered Sam telling him only weeks after the adoption, that he would take her to the shopping mall and let her decide what her room was going to look like. Seems like she did decide quiet fast and confidently.

"Hello Elizabeth." He said and saw her cringe almost imperceptibly. Noting this for a later conversation, he closed the door behind him and turned back to her, only to see her already standing right in front of him and eyeing skeptically the box in his arm.

"Good evening." The child answered him and Red had to hold back a laugh, when he heard this small and obviously childish voice, using such polite words. Red was wondering, if his assessment of her shyness had been really correct. Standing so close to him, she either remembered him very well, which for a child of her age would be at least uncommon, or she simply didn't shy away from inspecting strangers head on.

"How are you my dear?" he asked her, equally polite, kneeling down to her level. Once again, he was surprised when this time she didn't answer at all.

"Do you mind me taking a seat on your bed? I have quiet a long travel behind me and my legs need a break." Still smiling at her, he was relieved when she nodded and retreated to give him room to sit down.

Carefully he sat the box on the floor and heaved his body onto the neatly made bed. The bedding was covered in little puppies and leaning against the wall were numerous stuffed dogs. Seems that the fondness of dogs had slipped the girls closed off behavior at this particular piece of furniture.

"Do you remember me, sweetheart?" Red spoke slowly and gently, not wishing to scare her.

"I do. You took me away from home."

Her matter of fact answer got her a raised eyebrow from Red and she looked to the floor.

"I thought this is your home?" play it dumb, Red reminded himself.

"You left me here."

He hadn't expected this answer sounding like an accusation, but it did in his ears and his heart clenched momentarily.

"I had to go."

The girl didn't answer, but stubbornly held her eyes downcast. Red sighed and walked up to her.

"Sam told me that you weren't that fond of talking."

The girl's eyes shot to him and he could see a flash of fear in them.

"I always answer when asked...in some way."

"I know you do" Red pulled a little stool to him and sat on it. "How are you, Elizabeth?"

Back to the question she actually hadn't answered at all, he could see her looking away in shame.

"I'm fine."

Red would have willingly bet his whole business on this answer and he smiled.

"Would you like to take a walk with me?"

She shook her head no, still not looking at him.

"Well, it is kinda cold outside, but as I already explained to Sam, that's how it is supposed to be when Christmas sneaks up on us. Do you like Christmas?"

His conversational tone, seemed to relax the girl a little bit and she looked at him before answering.

"No."

That surprised him. The decision if he should ask her about the reason was a hard one, but finally he made it.

"Why not? Every child loves Christmas." When she shrugged her shoulders instead of answering, Red sighed and scratched his head thoughtfully.

"You know, my daughter loved Christmas. She was only slightly older than you and she used to write her wish list already in October." Red laughed at those fond memories. "Her mother and I were always trying to hide the presents from her but every year she managed to wheedle out at least one before Christmas Eve."

"Why were you hiding them?" Elizabeth asked, turning her body more in Red's direction.

"Oh it's supposed to be a surprise. Have your parents given you the presents earlier?"

They certainly had had enough money to give their daughter a Christmas present on every day of the year.

"I don't remember."

"What do you mean, you don't remember?"

Red could understand why she didn't remember the first two or three Christmases but the last one she had been already four, she should be able to tell at least what present she had gotten. She could remember _him_ after all.

"There was no Christmas."

"Christmas is every year, darling."

She only shrugged her shoulders again, avoiding his gaze.

"So, Sam told me you didn't want any present for Christmas."

She shook her head.

"Why not?"

"I don't like Christmas."

Here goes nothing, Red thought sadly, trying to come up with another tactic.

"Alright, but you know it will make Sam sad, right?"

Her clear blue eyes jumped to his face and filled with worry. Sensing an opening, Red continued.

"He really would like to give you something for Christmas, because he loves it as much as everyone else. He will be really sad if you don't let him give you anything."

"But it's work for him."

Shocked, Red stared at the girl, who was now squirming in her seat.

"Work? Who told you such nonsense?"

"Momma always said that presents were too much work for daddy and it would make him…ehm…" she nibbled on her lower lip to find the right word. "muhdy."

"You mean moody?" Red asked, correcting her with a smile.

"Ehm...yes, sir."

"Don't call me sir." Red told her, patting her knee. "My name is Raymond Reddington."

When they had last seen each other she had been too distraught to ask or remember names and their encounter had been entirely too short to teach her.

"Rai-mont…uhm…Red-tingten."

Red laughed in amusement and couldn't believe how adorable this girl could be, in spite of her somber characteristics. "Raymond Reddington. You can chose either Raymond or Reddington."

"Red."

Elizabeth said this abbreviation of his surname with such conviction, that he couldn't help but accept his newest nickname.

"Alright. Just call me Red then, sweetheart."

He paused and then asked, "What shall I call you? I noticed you are not very fond of your name."

Elizabeth thought for a second she seemed to have come to a decision of her own.

"I don't know. My daddy called me Elizabeth…when he was angry,"

"What did your mother call you?"

"Beth."

Red smirked, leaning one elbow on his knee, so that he could lean forward and look into the girls face.

"You don't look like a Beth to me. You are a lot brighter and sharper than a Beth."

Suddenly a tiny smile appeared on her face and her legs started to swing a bit.

"What about Liz?"

Her head bent sideways and her lips pressed together.

"No one called me Liz before."

"So, what about it, Lizzie? Do we have a deal? You call me Red and I call you Liz?"

"Lizzie."

Red laughed, closing his hand gently around hers. "That's good…Lizzie."

"Do you want me to show me around the house?"

The smile on her face disappeared and her body became tense again.

"I am not allowed to run around the house."

Red frowned at the child, not believing for one second that Sam would have told her that.

"Was that how it was in your old home?"

Liz nodded, happy that Red seemed to understand her.

"You know that this rule doesn't apply here, right?"

Questioningly, Liz let herself slide down the chair and walked to the box, Red had left next to the bed.

"Sam didn't say anything. I don't like breaking rules."

Red smiled when he saw her eyeing the box and stood up.

"Let's make another deal, ok?"

Suspiciously, Liz looked up, waiting for him to continue.

"I will give you this present, if you promise me to tell Sam about the reason why you don't come out of your room."

"Doesn't he know?" her eyes became as round as Sam's had gotten, making Red smirk.

"Nope. He is really worried about you, Lizzie." Kneeling once again beside her, Red lay a hand on her shoulder. "And while you are on it, tell him that you prefer to be called Liz or Lizzie, alright?"

"I promise."

Her gaze drifted back to the box and she mirrored Red's position, kneeling now next to it. One hand stretched out, she timidly touched the bow.

"It's pretty."

"Might be, but it is supposed to be taken off."

Liz did as she was told, carefully unwrapping the box. When the smooth plastic underneath the wrapping paper was uncovered, Liz looked at Red questioningly.

"Turn it around." He whispered and smiled.

She did and the gasp coming from her open mouth, made Red mentally pat his shoulder in pride.

"So sweet!" She gushed and opened the grid door. Her small hands drifted deep into the box and she pulled out a sleepy St. Bernard puppy. He looked literally like a giant ball of cotton and seemed to like Liz immediately, since he was licking her face while she was cuddling him.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she cried and threw herself, together with the puppy at Red, who encircled her into a hug. Kissing her on the crown of her head he mumbled a quiet "you're very welcome." and closed his eyes.

Seeing her sad eyes light up was the only reward he needed for his trouble. Although Liz was even younger than his daughter had been, Red couldn't say that he felt like Liz' father. No, it was more of a weird companionship he felt between them. Though so much younger than him, she had gone through some bad years in her early life and lost everything she had known a few months ago. For some reason she seemed to dislike Christmas as much as he did, so he sympathized with her, more than patronizing her.

The door behind them opened and Liz jerked away from him, standing up and struggling to keep a hold on the rather heavy puppy in her arms. Sam's face held a warmth in it that Red had not seen very often in his friend and once again, he congratulated himself for bringing those two together.

"You did it anyway, Raymond. Although I've told you not to buy her a dog." In spite of his words, he bent down and scratched the dogs head fondly.

"Please don't take him away, please!" Liz' pleading voice broke almost Red's heart, but he didn't say anything. This was a moment that belonged to Liz and Sam.

"I won't Elizabeth."

Both Liz and Red winced now and Red's arm came up to gently poke Liz in the back, encouraging her to make the first step into a better future.

"Can…uhm…can you call me Liz?"

Two weeks later….

"Good evening, my friend."

"Raymond. What a pleasure."

"How are you? Did you survive Christmas and all the sweet dangers of it? I've gained at least 10 pounds."

"Are you kidding me? You never gain any weight, no matter what you eat."

"That I concider a myth."

A short silence and then the question Sam had awaited came.

"How is Lizzie?"

"Better. Whatever you have done, she is starting to warm up to me now. I think the dog helps too."

"What did she call him?"

"You won't believe it."

"Red?"

Sam laughed, before answering.

"Actually, no. She named him Santa."

"Fitting, if you ask for my humble opinion."

"Thank you Ray."

"If you are referring to the money I send you, don't mention it. I know from my own experience that children and dogs can be a luxury not everyone is lucky enough to afford. I got you into this situation, so I will help you and Lizzie wherever I can."

"When will you visit again? The week after you left, Liz asked multiple times for you."

Red's sigh, made Sam nervous suddenly.

"Ray?"

"I will have to go on a journey for some time. But don't worry, I will always be in the shadows, looking out for you."

"And who is going to be looking out for you?"

Red chuckled into the phone, but didn't answer.

"Take care, Sam. And do me a favor and don't mention me to her again. I don't want her to be in danger by association. Or missing me too much."

"She will be sad."

"She will forget. She is only five years old."

"I will be sad."

"I will contact you as soon as I find a safe way to do so."

"Fare well, Raymond."

"You too."

The click of the severed connection had something final to it and Sam hung up the phone with a heavy feeling on his chest.

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><p>tbc...<p>

I must tell you, it was really hard for me to stay in the "youngLiz" character. I am so used to write her differently that I felt like forcing myself to think like a child. You know what I mean? So strange

But what do ya think? Did it work out ok?


	3. Chapter 3

THank you all SO much for the reviews, follows and fav's! I reallly havent expected such an response and was laughing crazily with happiness everytime I found a new one;)

Ok...so after writing already a few more chapters, I noticed that the story is kind of very Liz/Sam centered in the beginning(I guess for the first 5 Chapters or so) but I am so hoping that the relationship between Liz and Red will be able to come through anyway.

But for now, let's get on with the story:)

**Disclaimer: **Blacklist is not mine(for details, see Prologue)

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

"Go away, Santa!"

The five-year-old dog scratched at the wooden door and whimpered loudly, hoping his favorite friend would open it soon and cuddle him, like she used to do every day in the evening. But the door didn't open and there was no sound coming from inside anymore. After a few more minutes, the massive dog squirmed around and finally lay down in front of the door, huffing unhappily. When half an hour later Sam walked by, Santa opened his eyes and jerked his head up. Hoping that at least this human would open the door for him, he scratched once again at the door and whined even louder.

"Hey buddy, what's up? Lizzie doesn't want to let you in?"

Without knocking, Sam opened the door and the dog squeezed into the room immediately.

"Go away!" The loud, high-pitched voice came from the bed, on which Liz was lying face down.

"What's going on, butterball?"

Liz had come back from school a few minutes ago and after saying a quick hello, she had rushed upstairs and Sam had a strange feeling that her mood had something to do with the nearing holiday. Only two weeks until Christmas school break and Liz' mood went sour every year around this time. Sam was used to it, although it did concern him.

"Sweetheart, I made some cookies, would you like some of them?"

"No! I want to be left alone!"

Sam wanted to respond, but the phone rang and he sighed.

"We will talk about this later, Lizzie."

Getting no answer, Sam once again sighed and walked out, taking the stairs in record time and coming to a halt next to the phone.

"Hello."

"Just for once you should greet the person calling you with your surname. Just to be polite you know?"

"And you shouldn't greet the person you call with an accusation."

"Hello Sam. How are you fairing?"

"Hello Raymond, I am well and you?"

"That sounded just plainly insincere." Raymond complained amused and chuckled. "Let me guess, Lizzie's anticipation for Christmas is once again lacking in enthusiasm."

"You have no idea."

"Not even Santa is helping?"

"She didn't want to let him into her room." Sam explained, while taking a seat on a stool standing next to the phone. "I don't know what got into her today. You interrupted an approaching screaming match. She has beautifully developed lungs by the way."

"And quiet the temper."

"Oh yes. No way you would believe that this girl once had been reluctant to speak and scared of breaking rules."

"What happened today? I am sure she has a reason for this behaviour."

"I don't know. She was at school and when she came back…well…"

Red was obviously thinking, because the silence coming from the phone was solid until he cleared his throat and started speaking again in a more serious tone.

"She is ten now. The children she is going to school with will ask questions."

"What questions?" Sam wondered.

Red rolled his eyes and swept away the sweat on his forehead. The climate in Ecuador was not something Red was used to and for sure did not appreciate.

"Sometimes you can be really dense. Children can be cruel. I've learned a lot of my best interrogation techniques from the children tormenting me in school."

"I don't want to hear about your business, Raymond."

"I am pretty sure Lizzie was asked about her parents. Christmas means family time. What was she supposed to say? The truth I assume. As I've already said, Children can be cruel."

"She would have told me if her classmates harassed her."

"Would she?"

Sam thought about the question and felt as if bricks were crashing from his eyes.

"You are right, Raymond. I can be really thick as a brick."

"Always told you so."

"Thank you, Ray. I've gotta go talk to her."

"You can expect a package on Christmas."

Before Sam could thank Red, his friend had hung up and only the beeping tone was left.

Placing the receiver back on the phone, Sam breathed in deeply, as if that would give him more courage and walked back upstairs. Stopping in front of Liz' door, he listened for some sound and was heartbroken to hear sniffling and sobbing. Slowly he opened the door and stepped inside. Nudging Santa to make him move an inch, he took a seat on the bed.

"We have to talk, Lizzie."

"I don't want to." Liz said stubbornly into her pillow.

"But we have to. C'mon, turn around, please."

Hearing the pleading tone, Liz slowly turned around and immediately tried to wipe away the tears. Dark strands of hair were stuck on her cheek and her normally pale skin was blotchy, with eyes blood shot from crying.

"Oh sweetheart." Sam sighed. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"You're lying."

Liz' cheeks became even redder and she huffed, trying to dislodge a sticky hair strand from her skin.

"You were never good at lying, Lizzie. Now tell me what happened."

The girl twisted on her bed and pillowed her head on her arm, just to not look at Sam while she told him what had brought on this meltdown.

"There was a girl. Maria, you know?"

"Yeah…I remember her. The one with those golden locks and super long lashes right?"

He smiled. Sam remembered the girl telling Liz that with her dark hair and almost nonexistent lashes she was so boring, that no one would even look at her. Sam remembered the afternoon when Liz had come home from school and asked him seriously, if he thought she was ugly. Sam had laughed heartily, but when he noticed that Liz wasn't joining him, he had quickly back paddled and let her explain what was going on. After some pointed words from Sam, they had been sitting up late, eating cookies and laughing until they both fell asleep on the couch.

"What did she say this time?"

"Actually, she only asked me why both of my parents were never coming to the Christmas parties. I explained to her that you adopted me when I was little."

"And?"

"She looked at me with pity and called over her friend to tell her. After only a few minutes the whole class was gathering around me and asking how it felt like to be an orphan and that Christmas must be horrible for me."

Before Sam could comment, she suddenly sat up and drew her legs up to her chest, again starting to yell. "And they are right! I hate Christmas!"

Sam grimaced, hearing his girl saying that.

"Oh, butterball, don't let those kids bring you down. You know better than those children."

"Do I? _You _are my family and I don't need anything else but I don't want them to look strangely at us. You were kind enough to take me in and you shouldn't need to…"

"Whoa…whoa…hold on, sweetheart. I am not going to those parties for your classmates or their parents. I am going there with you and _for _you! I don't care what the people say or how they look at us." He smiled at her. "_You_ are important."

The tears falling down Liz' face now, were more like tears of relief than anything else and Sam was overjoyed when he suddenly had an armful of Liz. She was hugging him to him with a strength he didn't expect and a small tear worked its way down his own cheek.

"I love you butterball."

"I love you too."

Sam dropped a kiss on her head, silently thanking Red for his guidance.

Christmas Eve…

The fireplace was emitting a soft glow and warming the whole living room, while Liz was lying in a respective distance to it with Santa on the floor and reading a comic. Sam was cluttering around in the kitchen and told Liz to open the door when the doorbell sounded.

Running up to the entrance, Liz opened the door and was mighty surprised seeing a deliveryman in front of her.

"Good evening." He greeted. "I have a package for…Miss Elizabeth Scott."

"That's me." She answered and grinned. "But I am not supposed to take things from people I don't know."

The huge man laughed friendly.

"Are your parents at home?"

Sam stepped behind Liz, looking at the man questioningly.

"Your daughter received a package. Would you mind signing here, Sir?"

Sam signed and Liz took the package from the friendly man, wishing him a Merry Christmas, before running into the living room and kneeling on the floor to open the package.

"Who is Mr. Redmont?" Liz asked Sam, when he came into the room, settling himself on the sofa. His own curiosity getting the better of him.

"Oh…an uncle. He lives…uhm…"

"In Ecuador?"

Liz was pressing her face close to the package to read the information about the sender.

"Right, right…but he's moving a lot." Sam stammered, hoping Liz believed him.

Liz nodded, too eager to open the package to think about Sam's answer and started to tear into the box, finding a smaller one inside, she worked on this one for a moment only to find an even smaller inside.

"This uncle is very funny."

"Oh…he has his moments." Sam chuckled.

When she managed to open the box she held currently in her hands, she gasped and breathed a "wow".

Slowly and with the outmost care, Liz pulled a medium sized snow globe out of the cardboard. Sam could see a miniature city with a lake in the middle.

"Look how beautiful!" Liz called out and ran up to Sam, showing him the globe with pride.

On the lake, there was a young girl, obviously ice-skating on her own.

"Look, she's not alone." Liz pointed out, turning the globe so that Sam could see the other side of the lake and in fact, there was an older gentleman standing at the shore and clapping his hands.

"Wait, don't you remember?" Suddenly Liz called out, excitedly pressing the present in Sam's hands and taking off and running up the stairs. Within seconds, she was back in front of Sam and holding up a framed picture for him to see.

The picture showed Sam standing at the local lake, smiling softly and Liz ice-skating in the background, waving at the camera excitedly. It had been a beautiful December day a year ago, when they had gone out with a neighbor to have some fun in the winter landscape.

"Those are even the same clothes we were wearing! How is that possible?" Liz was enchanted by the globe and didn't even wait for an answer before taking the present back into her hands and smiling at it.

"I guess uncle Redmont got the picture and let someone make the globe for you."

"This is beautiful! Can I call him and say thank you?"

"Ehm…Sweetheart, he doesn't have a phone in Ecuador."

"Maybe I'll write him a letter then?"

"Oh that is a nice idea."

And off she was, running up into her room to write the letter immediately, that Sam knew, Red would never receive. To dangerous would it be for both of them, if someone made the connection.

tbc...

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><p>So? please let me know what ya think guys! I appreciate every single comment from you!:)<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

After a little delay(sorry for thatbtw!) I am back with a new chapter. I think you will recognize the timeline kind of. Let me know if ya do:)

Without too much babbling(I really got to get back to crafting christmas presents again!), here comes the third chapter! Have fun:)

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

Four years later…

Liz was standing at the foot of the staircase, tapping her foot in annoyance. Santa was dutifully standing right next to her and observing Sam playing around with the newly bought Christmas tree.

"Dad, I've told you that it is dangerous to put those candles on the tree. Please just get some lights or something. Like normal people do." Nervousness was swinging in her tone, while she started to twirl a lock of hair around her finger.

"Nothing can happen, butterball. Those are extra safe candle holders, specially made for Christmas trees. Now come on over and help me decorate."

"I'd prefer not to." She whispered and turned around to go upstairs but Sam calling her name stopped her.

"You'll have to overcome the fear someday, sweetheart."

"Yeah…" she sighed. "But not today. Not like this."

"Fire isn't a bad thing." Sam continued as if he didn't hear her. "As long as you are careful and never forget what it can do."

"How could I forget?" Liz asked, tapping the dog slightly, giving him the commando to follow her, and vanished up the stairs.

Sam breathed in heavily and stared at the halfway-decorated tree. He knew that Liz was terribly afraid of fire, but he thought that since she was refusing any kind of therapy, he would take matters in his own hands. His method may have been a bit brutal, but he didn't see any other way to help her anymore. With thoughts racing through his head, Sam continued decorating the tree and when he finished an hour later, Liz had still not shown up again. Glancing at the clock, he brushed of needles still sticking to his hands and made his way up the stairs.

"Lizzie?"

Knocking at the door, he called again and finally opened it, to find Liz sitting on the bed and reading.

"You want to come for a walk? Santa has to get out. His bladder isn't what it once used to be."

Liz shook her head, no and didn't answer.

Still mad, Sam thought. "Well, I'll let him out for a moment and then I will go to Mrs. Sykes. She has some problems with the toilet and asked me to take a look. You should come. She always has some cookies laying around."

Not receiving an answer, Sam called for Santa.

"C'mon boy, let's go for a walk and let Lizzie sulk alone."

The dog followed him immediately, slowly and carefully taking one step after the other. With nine years he wasn't that old yet, but it seemed that rheumatism and asthma were taking its toll on him and with that came a bunch of other health problems. Liz was taking care of him lovingly and as food as she could, but there was just that much that a human being could do for a dog. Letting the dog out, Sam walked up to the tree and started to blow out the candles, but when he had only five left, Liz called from upstairs.

"Dad? Did you leave already?"

The man smiled warmly when he heard his daughter's voice.

"Nope. I'm still here. Only Santa is taking a leak outside."

He walked back to the stairs and looked up, seeing Liz standing already clothed in a coat.

"Changed your mind?"

"I guess so."

"Why? Was it the cookie calling you?""

"Do I need a reason?"

Sam shook his head amusedly and waved her to him.

"Well, c'mon then. I don't want to leave Mrs. Sykes waiting for too long."

Slandering down the stairs, Liz laughed out loud.

"Ha! As if she would ever tire of waiting for you."

With one hand Sam was opening the door and the other slipping into his coat.

"That wasn't nice, Lizzie. And besides, how would you know?"

Liz grinned at him cheekily.

"That's a woman thing…you wouldn't understand."

"Instead of smart mouthing, call that monster of yours. He never listens when I want to get him inside."

"You just don't have the touch."

Liz called for Santa and within seconds, the dog trotted through the door and Liz gave her father a proud and impish grin.

"Alright, let's go." He huffed, but smiled while closing and locking the door.

One hour later…

"Mrs. Sykes really makes delicious cookies. Now I know why you are helping her that often."

"Don't get cheeky, Lizzie. I am helping her because she is a sweet lady who has lost her husband quiet early."

"Right."

They were walking down the road in direction of the house and Liz was slightly out of breath, but enjoying to see her breath turn white and curl around itself like a giant ball of smoke in front of her eyes. Her fingers were numb and she tried to hide them in her pockets. Automatically her fingers closed around her keys. She had never known what to do with her hands and she took every opportunity to grasp something. People thought it was a nervous tick, and most of the time they were right, but even if she was relaxed and perfectly happy, she didn't like to have useless and empty hands. So the habit of stroking her scar had developed naturally over the course of the years. It was much easier than frantically clinging to a pen or someone's hand. And certainly less embarrassing than all other options.

Her nose suddenly tickled, making her sniff and her eyes water. A sudden sneeze tore her from her thoughts.

"Bless you. Getting a cold, after all? Told you not to wear this thin coat."

"It's not a cold." Liz argued and sniffed again. "Do you smell that?"

Suddenly she stopped, rooted to the pebbled path and gasped.

"It's smoke."

"What?"

Liz took off without another word of explanation, letting Sam try to catch up with her.

"No!" his daughters first terrified wail froze the blood in Sam's veins. His eyes searched around and when he finally rounded the corner, he had to stop in order not to fall flat on his face.

Smoke was coming from under their houses door and he could see a red shimmer through the kitchen window.

"Oh god." he breathed, not believing what he was seeing.

Meanwhile Liz was gaping at the smoking house and felt numb. Flashes of fire and burning dolls rained open her inner eye and she could smell the sickening odor of burning flesh. Oh god, please not again, she pleaded silently, closing her eyes, just to snap them open when a faint barking met her ears.

"Santa!" her scream pierced the air and Sam was almost unable to restrain her when she suddenly lurched forward.

"Lizzie, no. You can't go in there."

She struggled, she kicked, she screamed and when a flailing punch caught him at his cheek and stunned him, Liz pushed his hands off of her and stumbled, still screaming the dog's name, to the door. Within seconds, she had unlocked the door and opened it, releasing a dark cloud of smoke and coughing while storming in.

"Oh god, Lizzie. Come out!" Sam yelled, already hearing sirens in the distance. Obviously, a neighbor had called for help. He could hear his daughter yelling for the dog and after only a second of hesitation, he ran after her.

"Elizabeth, answer me. Where are you?"

At first, there was no answer and Sam felt the panic spreading through his system. Besides the hot air around him, making him sweat and cough, the hotness from inside was starting to burn his heart first. He couldn't lose her. She had become his world.

"Dad!" her scream shook him out of the panic and his legs started to move. The scream had come from the far end of the house, where his bedroom was situated. Rushing into the room, he immediately saw Liz kneeling on the floor and pulling on Santa's collar. The dog was half lying and half sitting there, wheezing and not moving an inch.

"He doesn't want to come, Dad. Do something!" Sam could see that Liz was crying uncontrollably and his heart constricted even more. The situation was not looking good. Making a decision, Sam hurried to his daughter and simply picked the dog up. It wasn't easy but adrenaline gave him strength to carry the heavy dog out of the room and the house.

He was acutely aware of Liz following him and he breathed in relief when they reached the front door. When Liz attempted to open it, she hissed in pain, but didn't pull her hand back. Sam glanced at her but would worry about it later. Right now, the most important thing was to get out of the house.

The moment they stepped out, they saw firefighters getting out of their truck and preparing their hoses. Putting the dog down, Sam turned to Liz, standing right behind him.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Her whisper wasn't very convincing, but Sam let it slip for now, watching her sit on the ground next to her beloved dog.

"You're gonna be ok, Santa." She repeated that over and over again, trying to convince herself of it. But she didn't succeed. Santa was breathing heavily, lying on the ground now and closing his eyes tightly from time to time.

"Dad…he's gonna be ok, right?"

Sam didn't answer. It wasn't a habit to lie to his daughter and he didn't want to make it one. So he just knelt down and brushed his hand over her hair in an attempted to give her some kind of comfort.

Two weeks later…

The house was silent, except for the crackling of the fireplace. Sam was sitting in front of it and staring into the flames. It was Christmas morning and the cold was seeping through every pore of the house, so that he had decided to make a fire and since Liz wasn't coming down, it wouldn't frighten her. When the telephone rang, Sam stood up like in a daze and breathed a quiet "Hello?" into it.

"Merry Christmas, my friend."

The gruff voice on the other side, made Sam's insides turn in guilt.

"It's not very merry, Raymond."

The little pause showed Sam that Red was taken aback and made him realize that Red wasn't always as well informed as he seemed.

"What happened?" the question was loaded and the happy sound in Red's voice had vanished.

"There was a fire." No need to lie or beat around the bush. The man waiting for an answer wouldn't have any problem to look through him like glass and if necessary find out on his own what had happened. When no comment was forthcoming, Sam continued.

"We had to put the dog down." Sam couldn't say the name out loud. It was as if something was holding him back. Maybe the guilt that had refused to lift from his mind.

"What happened?" Red repeated, now with a low, dangerously calm undertone.

"I left candles burning on the Christmas tree. The dog was alone at home. We don't know how it happened exactly, but the curtains caught fire."

"How big is the damage on the house?"

"Not that big. We got back before the fire could get too big. Only the smoke was extensive. He had asthma and the inhalation of the smoke…"

"How is Lizzie?"

"I can't even describe it."

"Try it!" Red snapped. A shiver ran down Sam's back and he coughed to clear his throat.

"She is…disturbed. She isn't coming downstairs. She is blaming me."

"Why?"

"She told me not to light up the candles. She was nervous about them, but I thought it would maybe help her get over the fear of fire." Sam snorted at himself. "She doesn't want to talk to me. The only thing she said was that she hated Christmas."

Sam could hear a sigh over the phone and rubbed his eyes with the other hand.

"I am sorry, Ray. It was my fault. I failed."

"You didn't fail." Red's hoarse voice tried to sooth. "You made a mistake. A grave one but it was a mistake. Everyone does that from time to time."

"What shall I do now? She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you. She's mourning. She'll forgive you."

"I killed the only thing she had left of her early childhood. She has no remembrance of that time, not even someone to ask about it, since I am always answering with an "I don't really remember". The only thing her subconscious hasn't blocked out has been this damn dog."

"She _will _forgive you. She loves you."

Sighing heavily, Sam let himself fall on a chair.

"I hope to god you are right."

"I have to go now." Red told him.

"Thanks for the call, Ray. And for what it's worth, I am sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Just try to fix it." Red paused and then added, "Take care."

With that, the line went dead and Sam was once again left alone with his own thoughts.

The next day rolled in slowly, waking Liz only when a car honked too loudly. Instinctively, her hand reached next to her bed where Santa had always slept, just to be reminded of the fact that he wasn't there anymore. That he never would be again.

Throwing back her covers, Liz stretched and opened her door to trot down the stairs and get something to drink. Just when she reached the bottom, something white caught her eye, lying on the floor before the door.

Looking around to make sure that Sam was still asleep, she walked over to the envelope and crouched down to gather it into her hands. Turning it around, she noticed her name scribbled on it. She frowned deeply, but opened the envelope anyway. Out came a letter and a photograph of her and Santa, playing in the snow a few years ago. Immediately tears sprang to her eyes and she had to gulp hard to not let them fall. Her eyes drifted back to the letter and she started to read.

_My dear Lizzie,_

_I've heard from your father, that you have lost a dear friend of yours. I know you might not believe me right now, but I do know how that feels. The pain is excruciating and the mere thought of living the rest of your live without him is more than torture. _

_I can't tell you that the pain will go away and if someone does tell you so, believe me, he is lying or has no idea what he is talking about. But what I can tell you, is that the pain will get less suffocating and you will be able to remember all the good times you had with him. You will learn to laugh about moments with him that now seem to be so far away and so painful that you would love to forget them. _

_You need to heal and in order to do so, you need to talk. Please promise me that you won't make the same mistake as I did and end as a bitter and angry person. Talk to your dad. He is sick with worry and plagued by guilt._

_I am terribly sorry for your loss, sweetheart, but never forget that the ones you love will never leave you completely. A part of them will live in you. Forever._

_Sincerely and with the best wishes for you_

_R._

Liz was choking on her sobs when she got to the end of the letter. She had no idea who had written that, but since it was someone his father knew, she could trust the fact that it was a good soul trying to help. Folding the piece of paper neatly, she put it on the table beside her and slowly walked to her father's bedroom. With a timid knock, she announced her presence and upon hearing a soft "come in." she opened the door, coming to a halt in the door frame.

"Butterball? What up?" Sam got himself into a sitting position, watching his daughter out of sleepy eyes.

"I hurt, Dad."

For a split second, Sam felt panic again, and he mustered her from head to toe but then he noticed the look in her eyes. The posture of her body and the way she was clutching a picture in her bandaged hand.

"Oh baby…come here."

His arms opened and the girl was in them in seconds, crying into her father's shoulder and taking in his soothing warmth.

Everything would be alright. Eventually.

tbc...

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><p>What ya think?:) I'd love to hear from ya!:)<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Alright guys, I am soooo sorry for the long wait...but hey...its christmas time and I am sure you know how it is with this time of year...

But I was hoping that by posting two chapters at once you will be able to forgive me for that:)

I guess that fifth will be the last chapter with Sam, so the next post will be kind of different than the last were:)

Hope you'll like it and at this point I'd like to let you know that I am SO thankful for your support and hoping that I wont dissapoint ya:)

**Disclaimer: **Blacklist is not mine (for details, see Prologue)

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><p>Chapter 4<p>

"I won't go to this party, dad, and there is nothing you can say to change my mind."

Sam shook his head in resignation and prayed for some help from above, because sometimes he thought that he was not strong enough to raise a teenaged girl all by himself.

"Lizzie, sweetheart, I would love to accompany you there. It is always nice to spent time together and there will be so many people we know. Wouldn't it be nice? It's almost Christmas, butterball?"

"Dad, I don't need people talking about what I wear, what you wear and what we say do or whatever. It's a small town and especially at Christmas it is always a fest for all those tattletales. I am not going. You can go alone If you must."

The fourteen-year-old girl swept her dark hair away from her face that was turning red with anger, and then tore up the invitation for the annual Christmas party taking place at her school. Throwing the pieces into the bin, she stalked past Sam and ran up the stairs. Sam watched her go and winced slightly, when the door crashed shut. Lizzie was by no means introverted, but she did seem to have some kind of problem with kids her age. The only thing she had mentioned something about boys was that they were all too childish and simply going on her nerves. Where other girls were already starting to eye their male classmates and taking a liking to talk about them, Liz simply rolled her eyes, took a book into her hands and ignored them. And although she had one female best friend, she didn't think highly of gathering too many friends around herself.

Sighing, Sam slipped his arms into his jacket and bound a shawl around his neck. It had gotten cold in the last few weeks, and going out to shop was getting an inconvenience, so far out of the city. Calling upstairs, he didn't get an answer but was sure that Liz had heard him, he walked out and made his way to his car.

Liz was standing at her window, following Sam's car with her eyes, waiting until it disappeared around the corner and the group of trees. She smile, hurrying to her closet. Getting out a heavy cote and her backpack, Liz put on her winter shoes and opened the door to walk downstairs. She went to the fridge and searched through it. When she found a few sandwiches from the day before, she grinned and stuffed them into her backpack. Throwing the coat on and the backpack onto her back, Liz marched to the entrance and closed the door behind her when she stepped into the cold evening air.

The Christmas party would start in three hours and she wasn't planning on being home so that Sam would try to talk her into going there. She knew that he wanted only the best for her but sometimes she just knew better what the best was. Slowly she walked down the dirty road in direction of the market, that by now was closed and locked, but Liz knew that the local library would be open for at least the next two hours and would make a perfect shelter. After that she would simply need to come up with another idea.

The walk took her around half an hour and by the time she reached the library, her nose and cheeks were red and her hands numb from the cold. Quickly she opened the wooden door and stepped inside. Greeting the man sitting at the counter politely, she explained to him that she wanted to poke through the books and that it might take a while.

The library itself was tiny in comparison to the ones Liz had seen in the city. Only around one thousand books had found a home here and most of them she had already read, but there were still some left that were on her list. Finding a spot in the cozy reading corner, Liz took off her coat and flung it over the back of a chair. She knew that there would be nobody else coming here today. It was exactly three days before Christmas and the people were either doing some last minute shopping, or at some parties, enjoying themselves and sharing stories about their life's and past Christmases. Laughter and the smell of baked goods would fill the air and Liz couldn't stop a shudder from going through her body. It wasn't that she didn't want those people to have a good time, but for her those parties were torture. The more people were gathered in this atmosphere, the more she felt trapped and claustrophobic. She couldn't even explain why that was, but she accepted it over the years. If it was just Sam and her, she could even enjoy it now, but putting a few more people into that equation, would equal hell for her.

"Would you like a cup of tea, Liz?"

The man from the counter had come over to her, and smiling eyes observed her over the rim of small glasses.

"If it wouldn't make too trouble. I am still a bit cold."

"It's no problem. I will make you a special Christmas blend."

He turned around and couldn't see the teenager roll her eyes delicately. She just couldn't understand why everyone was so happy around Christmas and why they just had to have _everything _Christmas themed.

Liz shrugged her shoulders at herself and crossed the room to a shelf with the newest purchases of the library. Deliberately, she chose a non-romantic book about murder and retreated to the sofa. This reading corner was just great. The room had carpet in it and the walls were covered in a satin like golden wallpaper. It was cozy and the only thing missing was a large fireplace. Instead, there was a huge window, which showed the park behind the building. Although it was dark outside now, Liz thought she could see the outlines of the small lake, lying hidden between tall trees.

By the time she had found herself a place to sit comfortably and opened the cover of the book, the man came in with her tea.

"I am sure you'll like it. Liz. Does your father know you're here?"

Considering to lie, Liz decided against it. She wasn't on the run. She just wanted to have some time to herself and the overprotectiveness of her father could sometimes be smothering.

"Actually, no. But would you mind not calling him, ? I just want to have a few silent hours and my father will try to get me to go to the annual Christmas party."

"Ah…the party, yes. I never liked to go there either." Mr. Green smiled. "I won't call him but I also won't lie if he happens to call."

"That's all I am asking for. Thank you."

They held each other's gaze for a moment and then Mr. Green excused himself, hearing the bells hanging over the entrance ring.

Liz was hoping that the visitor wouldn't stay too long, but didn't think about it anymore when she immerged herself into her chosen book.

Next time she looked up, the clock was already showing eight o'clock in the evening and Liz furrowed her brows. That went fast. Wondering that her dad hadn't called yet, she turned the page and looked around the room, jerking slightly when her eyes collided with a form of a man sitting in the armchair across from her. Quickly she looked back into her book, but glanced sideways back to him. How didn't she notice him coming in?

He was wearing a three piece, black suit and she could see a dark coat and a fedora resting on the stool next to him. His hair was a bit on the long side in her opinion and the reading glasses on his nose were just slightly too big. He didn't look like someone from town and she certainly didn't see him here before. Glancing again, she tried to judge his age, but the hair was covering his entire forehead and the eyes were covered by the glasses and no matter how hard she looked, there was no wrinkles. So either he was still quiet young or just good in shape and had good genes.

Pretending to read for another five minutes, Liz put a piece of paper between the pages and closed the book.

"Good evening, Sir. I haven't noticed you coming in. Sorry if I ignored you, but the book was just too interesting."

The man looked up, obviously surprised that she was talking to him and shook his head.

"No problem. I know the feeling." He answered and held up the book he was reading. Liz squinted, reading the title out loud. "The Art of Profiling. Interesting. Are you a profiler?"

He stared at her for a moment and Liz blushed.

"Sorry. I sometimes tend to be a bit…well…bold. I'm curious though."

"I am not." He told her, his voice deep, almost sultry and smiled. "I just enjoy reading about it. I highly admire their work Understanding criminals and all that."

"But do they really?"

A questioning brow rose on the man's face and Liz elaborated."

"Do they really understand them? I mean, maybe they just put labels on them and categorize them, teaching the students those labels, without looking deeper."

"That is a very mature and good question."

Liz had actually expected an answer of some sorts and was confused with this assessment of the stranger.

"I will have to go now. Try to enjoy Christmas." He stood up, gathering his things and walking to the shelf, putting the book back into its place. "You can never know when the last one will be with your loved ones."

Puzzled and slightly disturbed, Liz watched the man walk out and heard the bells ringing, when he opened and closed the door.

For a few more moments, Liz was sitting there and staring after the man. What a strange guy. And what a strange thing to say. Maybe he had lost someone on Christmas? Although she leaned back, opened the book and tried to concentrate on the story which she was so deeply immerged in only minutes ago, her mind was wandering to what the stranger had told her. Dad had to work very hard every year to make her enjoy Christmas at least a little bit and she was going through the motions for him. Buying presents, decorating, getting a Christmas tree, hanging stockings and baking cookies, but there was some portion of her that just refused to enjoy this time of year and she knew that her dad could feel it. So many times, she had berated herself for making him sad with her mood but this year was really bad. Her mood had changed the second she had heard the first Christmas song in the radio and had dropped steadily until right now she hardly could stand herself.

Blinking her eyes as if waking up from a deep sleep, Liz closed the book with a loud thud, scrambled to her feet and rushed outside.

"Mr. Green? I will be going home now. Thanks for the tea. I'll bring the book back in a few days."

"Liz! Don't forget your coat and backpack! He called and hurried after her with the items in hand.

"Thank you." She smiled warmly at him and in seconds was out the door and on her way home.

The walk home took her half the time of the walk in the other direction and she stormed into the house, calling for her father.

"Where have you been, Lizzie? I was worried and…"

"Let's go to the party!" burst out of her suddenly, a big grin adoring her lips.

Sam glanced at his watch and then back at his daughter.

"It's kind of late for that now, Lizzie."

"It's never too late." She laughed and sprinted up the stairs "I'll be ready in ten minutes!"

Five minutes later, Liz was almost done, only her hair was still in disarray. Her search for a bobby pin lead her into the office, next to her own room, and looking over desk only brought no results.

"I know I've seen you here." Liz mumbled, starting to collect papers in her hands, to search under them, when suddenly a weird looking piece of paper fell on the floor. Frowning, she put the other papers back on the desk and reached for the fallen one, her eyes gliding over it. A gasp left her lips, when she read the reference line.

_Oncology results for the patient Samuel Scott_

With a lump in her throat, she read the letter and felt the blood draining from her face. One word had embedded itself into her retina as if branded in it.

_Positive_

All thoughts of the party, of the stranger in the library and her dislike of Christmas flew out the window in seconds. The fear crept up on her and overshadowed everything else-until the anger came. With tears of fury, Liz stormed out of the room, running downstairs, almost colliding with her father.

"Whoa…not so fast kiddo." Sam smiled, stepping away from her and turning in a circle before her. "What do you think? Do I clean up nice?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Huh?"

Liz raised her hand with the sheet of paper in it and waved it in front of his face.

"Why didn't you tell me that you are dying!" she screamed, panting as if she had just run a marathon.

The silence was deafening. Liz' eyes were wide and the normally warm blue color had transformed into a stormy dark azure and her cheeks were flushed with anger.

"Say something, damn it"

"Watch your language, young lady!" Sam warned her, trying to control his voice from raising. This situation was not good.

Liz stepped up to him, still holding the paper in her hand.

"How could you not tell me about this?" she now whispered. Tears brimming in her eyes and her lips trembling. "How could you not tell me?"

"I'm sorry." Sam's voice cracked. Tears of his own starting to fall. "I wanted to protect you…from the truth."

Liz threw herself into his arms, hugging him as close as she could.

"You can't protect someone from the truth. It will always follow and finally come out."

Sam sighed, sniffling and groaning.

_You don't have any idea how much I hope that you are wrong, Lizzie._

Chapter 5

The night sky was clear and the stars were shining brightly for everyone to see. Liz was sitting on a chair in the garden and stared up, hoping to get her thoughts on a sensible order in this quiet and serene atmosphere.

Studying was becoming monotone and the newest psychology class was plainly stupid. The teacher was talking about grant ideas of how to dig into criminal minds, but for Liz, it was simply not sufficient. She wanted to know more. Know about the human being lying under the criminal mind. When she had told the professor, she believed that a criminal's actions were not always mind controlled and that sometimes there may be some kind of actual emotional logic behind it, he had simply laughed at her and said.

"Yeah of course there is. A father or mother drinking and beating him up until he cracked up there."

At that moment she had regretted having taken the psychology route on her carrier. Her big destination was the FBI and this class was inevitable on the way there. Sam had been against this idea from the beginning. Having to fight your parent along the way, made it very hard to not lose your self-esteem, but Liz knew she was stubborn and she would get what she wanted. Breathing in deeply, the cold air tickled the back of her throat and she sighed. Why was he against it, anyway? Until now, Sam had supported her in anything she could think of but when the graduation of the high school rolled into view and Liz explained her plans to him, he had lost it. Screaming matches and arguments were one thing but what had stunned her was the fear she could see in his eyes. Being lucky enough to get the permission to visit a collage while still going to high school, Liz was one year ahead of the other students and she was even managing quiet fine. Instead of being proud of her, Sam was still, after two years, grumbling about her choice and stealing her last nerve, not having even the slightest idea how frustrated she was with her life right now. Dedicating almost all her free time for studying, she had only one real friend who was not on her father's favorite people list. Frank was a good guy, sometimes a little bit rough around the edges, he still had a good heart. Liz was intrigued by his openness and bravery. He had heard him brag about stealing bread from the bakery, only to give it an old woman living on the streets around the corner. Stealing was not ok, she knew that, but the reasoning behind it and the portray of a modern Robin Hood, made her 17-year old heart pound in her chest like jackhammer and her knees getting as weak as too thin pudding. With her 18th birthday only a few months away, Liz felt like she could do anything she wanted to, no matter what her father wanted or said.

Observing a few small clouds drifting in front of the moon and blocking the light, Liz shivered. A weel until Christmas and she felt more alone than she ever had before…at least as far as she could remember. After Sam had told her about his cancer, the chemotherapy had started only a few weeks after Christmas and although she had tried to help wherever she could, their relationship had become a bit strained after Sam had gotten back to better health. Sighing again, Liz gathered the empty glass into her hand and made her way back to the house, knowing that a few more hours of studying were still waiting for her.

Closing the door behind her, she could hear Sam talking to someone. Curious, she tiptoed around the furniture and stayed as still as possible when she reached the corner leading to the living room. Her ears perked when she heard her name leaving his lips.

"I can't believe you are supporting this. Weren't you the one telling me multiple times that it would be…"

Liz felt her anger rise again. Not only was her father not supporting her but angry at someone who obviously did.

"Listen, I do understand that she is gifted and that she will do her best…"

Liz smirked now, hearing her father being cut off once again.

"You expect me to watch her maneuver herself in a position where she will be in danger? Day after day? Do you really expect me to sit back and watch that from afar? Just what? Twirling thumbs and humming happily while my daughter is out there being targeted?"

Liz stepped back in confusion. Her father had never mentioned to her that his problem with her aspired profession was such a great fear of her being in danger. Before she could think further, Sam started talking again in a little bit calmer voice.

"You may be right, my friend." He paused, but only seconds later continued. "I will try to see the positive sides of this. But I am still not happy."

Liz rolled her eyes at that.

"I admit that I might have made it a bit hard for her."

Liz's lips stretched into a smile and she had to hold back a chuckle.

"I will talk to her, don't worry. Good luck in Bosnia, I hope to hear from you soon." With that, the phone clicked onto the cradle and Liz silently crept down the hall, only to swear when the bottom stair squeaked loudly under her weight.

"Come on back, Lizzie. We have to talk."

Liz cringed. I really have to work on my stealth, she thought and shook her head while sighing. Slowly she walked back and was surprised to see Sam grinning at her.

"I see you are unable to break that nasty habit of eavesdropping, sweetheart."

Liz felt a blush appearing on her cheeks and looked down.

"I was curious." She explained in a small voice, looking up in surprise when Sam laughed.

"Of course you were." He breathed deeply once then twice and finally gestured to the sofa, motioning to her to sit down. Obeying immediately, Liz watched her father walk over to her and growing when he let himself fall into the seat next to her.

"I guess you've heard the conversation then?"

"Not all of it." She thought for a moment, before saying the next thing on her mind. "But I guess it was a good thing I've heard it. Why haven't you ever talked to me about _why _you were against me going to the FBI?"

"Would it have stopped you?"

"No."

Sam chuckled but a slightly sad expression took over his face.

"So then where was the point?"

Liz huffed. Men could be so dense sometimes. Even fathers.

"Maybe because I wouldn't have been that angry at you and tried to reassure you that it actually wouldn't be as dangerous as you may think?" she paused, but when her father didn't show signs of reacting, she continued. "Dad, I am going to be a profiler. I will not be a field agent. It's a big difference, you know?"

Sam stared at her and Liz narrowed her eyes.  
>"Is there something else you are worried about? Cause you make a face as if my explanations weren't worth a second thought."<p>

Liz was aware that he was trying to avoid the answer to that question but couldn't understand why. What could her father be hiding from her? It just didn't make any sense. When suddenly a smile appeared on Sam's face, she relaxed automatically.

"You are seventeen, sweetheart. I don't want to imagine you with criminals and profiling them."

"I am in collage, dad." Liz dryly stopped his further explanations. "I am studying psychology and won't be sitting with criminals until I am at least 21. If you had listened to my elaborations in the beginning of my first semester, you would know that."

Slowly Sam turned his upper body to her and snatched her hands into his. Surprised, Liz let her hands relax into his touch, watching his facial expression carefully.

"You are my daughter, Liz. You will always be my baby and it doesn't really matter how old you are."

Liz rolled her eyes but a small smile graced her lips.

"You are a real parent, you know that?"

"That's my job, butterball."

Both leaned back and a more comfortable atmosphere started to surround them.

"Who were you talking to on the phone?"

"A friend."

"This friend has a name I am sure."

"You are just too curious for your own good."

This time Liz simply rolled her eyes and jumped up from the sofa.

"Alright…then don't tell me. I don't get why it would be such a disaster to tell me."

Her voice was getting quieter while she walked back into her room, leaving Sam in the living room. The man was torn between being proud of his daughter, wanting to support her and being overprotective and chaining Liz to the bed and not letting her out of the house. The fear of someone from her past coming back, searching and finding her was present every day and the older she got and went her own ways, the less control he had over the situation and it made him nervous to no end. But in the end he had to admit that Liz and Red were right. It was her life and no matter who she was, she had to live and enjoy it as much as she could.

tbc...

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><p>Please le me knoow what ya think! I LOVE your reviews!<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Hey there guys!

A little something before we go to the more interesting chapters, but hey...we need something inbetween...Can't just skip too many years. I personally am not so thrilled about the chapter but well...just a filler, right?;)

Have fun anyway!

**Disclaimer: **Blacklist is not mine (For details, see Prologue)

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><p>Chapter 6<p>

Her heart was pounding and the pressure in her ears was more than she thought she could bare. The sweat poured down her body in streams and she could have sworn thousands of little ants were crawling up and down her body. The labored breathing beside her, told her that her colleague was hot on her heels and would pass her in a matter of seconds.

I really should have gone to the gym more often when I was younger, Liz berated herself and tried to get some more speed out of her tired body. She would not let this sleazy dumbass win this race. Being able to see the finish point now, her strength seemed to return and with a last spur of speed, Liz darted through the finish at least two seconds earlier than the man behind her.

"Well done, Scott. Beginners luck I suppose, but every blind chicken finds a corn from time to time…as they say, right?"

"Shut up, Ralphie. I won fair and square and it certainly wasn't the last time." Out of breath, Liz bent over, bracing her hands against her knees.

"Right…" the man scoffed and walked away. "Seeing how you are panting as if you've been smoking for decades, I doubt that you'll manage."

Liz narrowed her eyes at his back, but refrained from further comment, simply because right now she didn't have enough breath left in her lungs to do so without keeling over.

"Don't listen to him, Liz. He is just jealous."

Liz whirled around and smiled, when she saw the smiling face of Ken Shepherd. Although he was ten years older than Liz, they had hung out together the first day she arrived in Quantico. With only sporadic contact to her father, Liz would have felt lonely but with Ken there everything seemed brighter and sunnier. Especially right before Christmas, the need to have someone around who actually liked her was overwhelming, although she would have never believed herself to be in need of a friendly face at this time of year. Not having a lot of money didn't only mean not to be able to take extra classes, but also no visiting home-even at Christmas.

"I know, but thanks anyway." She smiled and patted the man on the arm. "I think I'm gonna grab something to eat and go to the library. I have some catching up to do. The damn flue has thrown me back a mile…" while mentioning the flue she had battled for the last two weeks, she felt her throat tickle with a cough but tried to ignore it.

"I'll join ya, if you want to." Ken offered, following her down the path. Liz smiled warmly at him but shook her head.

"I know you have a date with this blond from the bar, go prepare for that instead of babysitting me."

"It's not…I wouldn't…"

"Ken, I know you."

"Alright." He huffed at her. "But only because you are such a sweetheart. And I wouldn't call it babysitting. It's more like a…bodyguard thing."

"Right. Because I need protection."

Ken didn't answer, making Liz frown at him.

"What?" she asked. "Seriously now, I don't need protection. I am an FBI trainee. Why would I need…."

"You are not a field agent."

Liz rolled her eyes. The old argument she not only had to have with Ken from time to time but also with her father.

"I may not be but I do know the basic things about field operation, which includes hand to hand combat and operating a gun. But you DO know that, so I don't see why I would have to explain this to you."

"You don't have to, but I am concerned about you. You are not shy of making enemies."

"By being honest? C'mon, is it my fault they are such jerks."

"Jerks or not, they ARE training for field agents and they CAN make your life a living hell."

"Oh please…."

Before Liz could make another step, Ken's hand on her arm held her back and turned her around to face him.

"I am just looking out for you. You are like a little sister to me and I wouldn't want you to get hurt just because you are…well…" he chuckled at her. "…ambitious."

Liz inhaled the clear air deeply and finally a grin appeared on her face.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now let me at least escort you to the library. Just so that I feel better, ok?"

Liz laughed, shaking her head in amusement.

"Alright, alright. Let's go then."

Only half an hour later, Ken was waving Liz into the building and smiling at her. She rolled her eyes at him, but smiled anyway and waved back. Watching her walk deeper into the library, Ken finally stepped away from the door, but instead of just turning around and walking back to his room, he stepped to the side, leaned against the brick wall and fished in his jacket pocket for his phone. Punching in a number he obviously had memorized, Ken waited impatiently with the phone against his ear. When a deep voice rang through it, Ken breathed a sigh of relief.

"Raymond, I call to inform you about the status."

"Very well." Red's voice seemed equally impatient and Ken tried to hurry up with his explanations.

"The last exams went well. I have been studying and training with her and she passed with an A' in every single test. She was sick for the last few weeks though, so we will have to work a bit harder the next few weeks."

"Good. I didn't expect anything less. Did you give her the gift already?"

"No, I was planning to give it to her in the morning."

"What about the gentlemen giving her grief."

Ken gulped.

"Still present. And still bugging her."

"Bugging? Would you mind elaborating?"

"She is a tough girl, Raymond. The men around here see her as a rival and not a woman."

"Wasn't her being a woman the problem? At least that was your last statement."

Sweat started to appear on Ken's face and the urge to once again swallow was almost overwhelming.

"I was wrong."

The silence was nerve wrecking, but Ken held on to the last shred of nerve he had left, after only a minute of conversation with Raymond Reddington.

"At least you admit that you made a mistake. And I do understand how that could have happened. I hear Lizzie is fond of you, so I won't fire you. You don't have to be afraid of that. So do me a favor and breathe."

Ken nodded, forgetting that the man couldn't see him. Inhaling deeply, he finally started to speak again.

"I won't let her out of my sight."

"I hope you are watching her back only and nothing else."

Ken's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets and he had to clear his throat before answering.

"Of course I am watching only her back." Nothing else came into his mind that he could say to convince Raymond of the truthfulness of his words.

"But I would check out a man called Tom Keen." Ken added. "She has been meeting him a few times already and judging by the blush on her cheeks when she talks about him, it might be something more serious."

"Thank you for the tip. Let me know if some….."

"Ken?"

Ken almost dropped the phone when Liz' voice appeared right beside him.

"What are you still doing here?" Her eyes were narrowed and her arms folded in front of her chest.

"Uhm…I just…" he gestured to his phone, still trying to think of a good reason.

"You canceled your date? Again?" as if this was an outrageous thing to do, Liz looked at him with accusing eyes and an open mouth. "Going at this rate you won't find a girl until you are gray and in need of a heating blanket."

"I actually…"

"No, no…no excuses." The determination on Liz face was evident and Ken knew there was nothing he could do now to stop her from launching into a tirade.

"I hope you didn't reach her yet. If you did, you will call her this instant and apologies for your temporal insanity! You will go on this date. I really can't understand why a man like you would be so stupid and…"

While listening to Liz' talking, Ken slowly moved his thumb over the phone and slowly pressed a button, disconnecting the call.

The next morning…

"How was your date?" Liz' bright smiling face stuck itself into Ken's room, making him smile.

"Not that well. She was a bit too…honest. I don't want to talk about it though."

Liz only nodded and entered the room fully when ken gestured her to follow him.

"I've got something for you."

"For me? But we agreed that we wouldn't buy each other anything for Christmas. You know I don't like…"

"I know." Ken interrupted her, stretching a hand out that was holding an envelope. When she slowly took it out of his hands, he continued.

"But I heard you last time you were talking to your dad."

Liz' eyes grew huge and a blush formed on her cheeks.

"But you didn't hear me after…"

"I did. You miss him, Liz. You cried for more than an hour. You may not like Christmas, but I know that you care for your dad and with leaving him alone at home and feeling a bit left our here…well…"

Liz opened the envelope and squealed uncharacteristically. The two way plane ticket made its way onto the floor, when Liz jumped at Ken and hugged him to herself.

"Thank you, thank you!"

"You're welcome." He whispered and his own thanking words were send to Red, for making the girl in his arms that happy.

Suddenly Liz let go of him and her smile vanished.

"But I can't just leave…"

"Everything is taken care of, Liz. You only have to get yourself into that plane and be happy."

The smile bloomed again and her eyes started to glisten.

"I will, Ken. I am sure I will be happy!"

tbc...

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><p>I know its not as good as the others but you can tell me anyway what ya think of it;)<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Surprise, Surprise:) Since this is basically a christmas story, I want you guys to have a treat and get to read another chapter before Christmas:)

THis one is kinda sappy...but well...it IS almost christmas and I feel like being sentimental:)

THank you all for all the reviews and follows and fev's once again!Always make me smile:)

**Disclaimer: **Blacklist is not mine (for details, see Prologue) and also the song Where are you christmas is not mine (I just love the song so very much!)

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><p>Chapter 7<p>

"I really don't get what the big deal is, sweetheart. You hate Christmas anyway, so what difference does it make if I am here or on a teachers conference?"

The raised voice of the man standing behind her, was normally a satin like material but now it was simply boring a hole into her heart.

"What difference does it make? We are engaged, damn it and this is our first Christmas together. I was hoping to get over my hatred of this holiday but it seems like it is not to your liking. A nice excuse to simply not be around my mood, isn't it? Or even trying to put in some effort and convince me that Christmas isn't as bad as I think…no what a terrible thought Did you even think of a present?"

"It's almost Christmas Eve, of course I have a present for you."

"You're lying."

"What?"

The tone of his voice shifted into a mixture of rage and disbelief.

"I know you, Tom."

"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do."

With that sentence, he turned his back on her and marched upstairs. Still fuming and trying to hold back her tears, Liz let her tired body fall onto the couch. This Christmas hasn't even really started yet and it was a disaster already. The weather did not even remotely resemble a picturesque Christmas and her mood had plummeted from frustrated to deepest despair when Tom told her about his work related journey to Oklahoma.

Hearing Tom rummaging around their bedroom upstairs, Liz already knew that he wouldn't change his mind. He would leave her for Christmas and she hated herself even more, because she already knew that she would forgive him. She was helplessly in love and besides a few little things, Tom has been perfect for her. Thinking about the situation, she had to admit that he even might be right. For years now she had told herself that she would not put herself through another Christmas nightmare and simply ignore the holiday. Since her father was q Christmas fan like no other, her plans had been stomped into the ground every single year. Now was her opportunity. To be alone, free and without any traditions reminding her of…of what exactly? Tom had once asked her why she had such an aversion towards Christmas, but she couldn't answer him. Since she could remember, she had found this time of the year to be something to be avoided at any cost.

When she heard the heavy footsteps on the stairs, Liz shifted around to catch a quick look at her soon to be husband. He walked straight to the door and Liz expected him to march through them and bang the door shut behind him, but the noise never came. Her ears strained to hear him moving but failed her. The next thing she knew was that Tom was winding his arms around her upper body and resting his chin against her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Liz. I didn't mean for it to cause us to fight."

Liz sighed, leaning her head against his.

"I am sorry too. I overreacted, I guess."

Tom dropped a kiss onto her head, moving back to stand behind her with a hand still on her shoulder.

"I have to go now. Your present is in the closet."

Liz could only nod and force a smile onto her face.

An hour later, she was startled from a sleep like state by a knock on her door. She considered not opening, but when the knock sounded again, she grumbled something under her nose and slowly wandered in direction of the offending noise. With a sharp movement she opened the door and was about to give the salesman or whoever dared to disturb her brooding, a piece of her mind but stopped short upon seeing the gathering of children in front of her doorstep.

Before she could even gasp in surprise, the children, none of them older then maybe ten and clothed in red shiny robes, started to sing. An angelic sound penetrated the air and Liz' whole being and she felt tears gathering in her eyes. The song, the only she had liked and cherished through the last couple of years years, was called _Where Are You Christmas _and was so beautifully sung that Liz couldn't hold back a silent sob in the middle of the carol.

When the last note rang out and finally faded away, the children smiled and suddenly scattered away, running down the street, laughing with joy. Only one little boy stayed and looked up at her.

"What..." Liz cleared her throat and tried to talk again. "Why are you here?"

The boy only smiled and handed her an envelope. A soft "Bye." Escaped his lips and he rushed after his friends.

Stunned and still with tears falling down her cheeks, Liz closed the door and leaned against it. Slowly she opened the red envelope, sliding the simple white card out.

_Christmas is in your heart_

Liz closed her eyes and pressed the card to her heart. She remembered her last phone call with him only a few days ago, where he had promised her a surprise for Christmas eve.

"Thank you dad."

The most logical and obvious explanation, can sometimes be utterly wrong.

tbc...

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><p>So, what ya think? Please dont forget to check out the song! It is really great! Happy Pre-Christmas days to all of ya!:)<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Hey there:) here comes the second surprise:) You know the drill...since this is a christmas story and all that;) I guess this is one of the chapters most of us (me included) have waited for! I just had to get it out before christmas!

Now I am really sorry for not replaying to your wonderful reviews but I am trying to write as fast as I can and with christmas already there...you know how it is...so in the same breath I want to apologies for all mistakes in that chapter...I was like !

I hope you'll enjoy it anyway!

**Disclaimer: **Blacklist is not mine(for details, see Prologue)

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><p>Chapter 8<p>

Being alone on Christmas felt natural now. Year after year, fearing the time of the year everyone else loved, was a tiring experience, but it also made one more resistant against the sadness. Not many things could make him smile these days but one thing that was a guarantee for a smile, was a smile from friends, caused by a present.

Nothing was as rewarding as the knowledge that something you gave them, made them happy. The sparkling eyes, sometimes tears of joy and laughter. But once that was done, the darkness returned and the loneliness accompanied it almost every time. All the candles and their warming glow were only a façade, the hope of bringing the warmth into a life that was destined to be led in loneliness.

Slowly stepping to the window, a hand pushed the curtain aside and longing eyes watched the people walk across the street with full bags of presents for their loved ones.

With a jerk, the body which was starting to succumb into the depression of the evening, reacted to the ringing of the doorbell.

Frowning, the way to the door was made in only seconds and heavy door opened with curiosity.

"Lizzie?"

"Hi Red."

The woman standing in front of him was wringing her hands and looking everywhere but him.

"What are you doing here?"

The question didn't seem to be answered easily and he finally gestured her inside. His eyes darted to the table, where a beautifully wrapped present sat on the top. The bow was shining in a deep red and was tempting the observer to pull at it and open the present.

"I am sorry if I disturbed you." Liz' hesitant voice broke through his thoughts.

"You didn't. As you can see, I am alone."

"Well…" Liz broke off and her eyes shifted nervously from him to the window and back. He sighed, licking his lips and producing a smile.

"Why are you here, Lizzie? Isn't Tom waiting for you?"

"He's uhm…he's out of town. Again. I was just planning to go get some dinner and with it being Christmas Eve today I had to find out that almost every restaurant was out of free tables and then I thought that maybe…maybe you had a blacklister for me…just to keep me busy."

She hadn't expected the laugh coming out of him. Embarrassment flooded her system and with a scowl on her face, Liz started to retreat in direction of the door.

"No, no sweetheart, please stay. Excuse my behavior but it's just such a nice thought that you would actually think of me in your loneliness.

"I'm not lonely." She argued automatically. Her tongue itched to add "But you are." But she didn't let herself be so blunt. This was Raymond Reddington. It was a crazy notion that had made her come here but somehow it was getting harder and harder to stay mad at the holiday and she had no one to at least pretend to hate it. What made her think of Red? After the fiasco with the mole, Liz' trust in Red had crept up on her and surprised Liz when she realized how natural it felt. So here she was. Trying to find a kindred soul that was sharing her dispassion for Christmas and simultaneously wanting to make sure that Red wouldn't spend Christmas alone.

"You are as lonely as the last scoop of ice cream in a box, my dear."

Liz' scowl deepened, but a smirk appeared.

"And you are not?" she asked, crossing her arms before her chest, stubbornly looking him in the eye. All embarrassment, all shyness and nervousness forgotten, her body told her to fight back.

"Did I ever deny such a thing?"

Liz let her arms fall to her side in surprise.

"But…"

"Close your mouth, Lizzie. This look doesn't suit you. Would you fancy a glass of wine?"

Suddenly he moved, walking past her he turned back to her and held out his hand.

"How rude od me, please let me take your coat and make yourself at home. The couch is fairly comfortable."

Liz numbly followed his instructions and watched him walk away with her coat. Clutching her bag to her stomach, slowly she made her way to the couch and flopped onto it, seemingly boneless. Straining her ears, she made sure Red wasn't coming back yet, and started to rummage in her bag. Just before he walked back into the room, Liz pulled a little package out and turned it again and again in her hands.

"What's that?" Red's voice startled her. "A present from Tom?"

"No." she was hesitant to reveal more about her situation with her husband, so she changed the subject effortlessly. "It's actually for you."

"Me?"

Liz couldn't believe what she saw in his face. Genuine surprise. She had seen a lot of emotions and expressions on Red's face, but real surprise was very rare to encounter.

"Yeah." _Great, _she thought. _Here with the Concierge of Crime, giving him a present for Christmas and the only thing I can think of saying is 'yeah'…so intelligent._

"Why would you buy me something, Lizzie?"

She shrugged her shoulders, following Reds every move when he walked over to her and sat beside her.

"I just…" she stopped herself. How was she supposed to explain this to him, but the gentle look on his face prompted her to reveal at least something.

"I don't really like Christmas and I was lucky to have people around me, which cared enough for me to let me know every single year that Christmas isn't as bad as I think…or felt."

Liz couldn't explain the small smile on Red's face but she couldn't start thinking about that now, because she wanted to finish her explanations before her courage would leave her. "And I thought…that maybe I could be one of those people for you this year. You mentioned being alone every year for Christmas, so I thought…maybe this year could be slightly different."

Without another word, Red gently, almost timidly, took the present out of Liz' hands. He turned it around almost the same way Liz had done only minutes ago.

"You can open it, you know?"

Still not saying anything, Red started to unwrap the present and when he finally had the paper undone, the small box almost burned a hole in his palm. It was such a long time ago, that someone had bought him something that it seemed almost surreal.

"Just open it, Red."

Liz' impatience made him smile widely. His fingers closed around the box and pulled the lid from the bottom. His eyes filled instantly with tears.

"Where…why?"

"I am not cocky enough to believe that my presence would make you feel that much better about Christmas. But having this…maybe it will be as if _she _is here with you."

A pendant was lying calmly in the box. Heart-shaped and silver it waited to be touched. With shaking hands, Red grasped it and opened it. A small piece of paper was stuck between the two parts of the heart. Unrolling it, Red squinted slightly to be able to read it.

_For my darling, may the spirit of Christmas be always with you – Dad_

"Don't ask me to tell you how I got it."

Red looked up at Liz, not able to form any kind of complex answer. Instead a simple "Thank you." came out of him, that made Liz blushed.

"You're welcome."

Silence descended upon them, with both of them leaning back into the couch. Finally Red reached out to pick up the present still standing on the table.

"That's for you." He smiled at her. _This year you were faster than I was though, _he thought. "Don't open it before tomorrow morning." He admonished playfully, making Liz roll her eyes.

The rest of the evening was filled with more comfortable silence and light conversations.

After years of giving willingly and happily, finally Red had gotten his own Christmas gift. One Christmas Eve together with the girl he had so badly wanted to safe from the hatred of Christmas.

tbc...

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><p>Since it is the 24th of December over here already, <strong>I wish you all a wonderful and merry Christmas and hopefully all of you have somoone special to share it with!<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

Hi there...I hope all of you are enjoying this beautiful christmas time and have a blast:)

Well...in this chapter Lizzie does not have any fun...but it's only a short chapter so cry not my dear reader, the next chapter will be much more fun:)

Thanks to every single one who wrote me a review despite it being christmas:)

Here we go!

**Disclaimer:** Blacklist is not mine (for details, see prologue)

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><p>Chapter 9<p>

Liz felt the thick material of the wool duvet weighing against her shoulders like a ton of bricks. Her eyes were closed, but it didn't really matter if they were open or not, she wouldn't see anything anyway, since all the lights were shut off in the house and the curtains also drawn shut. The pitch black darkness was enveloping everything into its welcoming arms. A distant ringing of church bells made Liz shudder. The happiness and joy of Christmas was so distant to her like it hasn't been for year. She felt like crying, but couldn't. For the first time in her life she was truly alone for Christmas and she was finding herself unable to express the deep sadness and desperation that was spreading through her body and soul as fast as a racing car. Years of denying herself the joy of this holiday and only now that she was alone, betrayed and almost broken, she realized, that she didn't hate Christmas. She hated herself. Her life. A ruin of memories and feelings.

"Lizzie." The rich baritone voice didn't startle her. She didn't even flinch when a body stepped beside her and a hand appeared on her shoulder.

"This is not where you belong, sweetheart."

"Where _do _I belong?"

A sigh escaped the man beside her and Liz could feel him shift slightly.

"I can't answer you that, Lizzie. But I _can _tell you with a hundred percent certainty that you do not belong in the darkness."

Liz let out a sharp laugh, finally lifting her eyes to the visitor next to her.

"My whole life lies in ruins in front of me. I lost everything and everyone I loved. I call that dark, Red. No matter from which angle you look at it. There is no light. Only death, betrayal and manipulation."

Red titled his head to the side, watching her intently. Sometimes it felt as if he was looking into jer soul. Reading her mind. Jerkily, Liz shook her head and looked away.

"Come with me, Lizzie."

She didn't answer, or even acknowledge him anymore.

"Elizabeth."

"What?" her voice became high pitched, almost breaking.

"Come with me." He repeated, crouching down to her eye level. "This is not right, darling." Saying that he looked around them and back at her. "This is just not right."

She narrowed her eyes, but didn't say anything at first. Leaning nearer to him, she looked into his eyes, seeing compassion and to her surprise sadness.

"Why is it so important to you? You should give a damn about my doings right now. All you care about is my role in your little plan, whatever that might be. Don't worry. I wont quit. So, you can go. Don't worry about it."

Red winced at her tone and harsh words. To be fair, she did have all reasons to believe their relationship was to him nothing more than a means to an end.

"It doesn't matter." He whispered, leaning forward, his lips almost touching her ear. "This is not healthy and you know, deep down, that coming with me, spending Christmas with me, is the only thing holding you back from starting a destructive journey."

For a split second, Red recognized fear in her expression, but it vanished together with the frown on her face. Taking its place was resignation. But he didn't care. As long as she came with him and didn't stay in the dark, as ironic as that seemed, he would be as happy as he could be in those circumstances.

He could see the cogs turning in her head. Contemplating his ulterior motives, her own and the smartness of her decision. He could see the decision forming and finally slamming into place and with a held breath, he waited for her answer. When her eyes flicked down, he had his answer even without words.

"Get our coat, sweetheart. I'd like to get out of here as soon as possible."

Liz didn't say a word, simply stood up, let the duvet fall from her shoulders and let Red lead her out of the living room. The hand on her lower back not only guiding but also anchoring her to a life she felt like she had already lost.

tbc...

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><p>Grrr...dark much?;)<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

Hi there:)

I know christmas is in the past now but we still have two more chapters to go...so the next one will be the last one.

I hope you'll like this chapter:)

P.S.

Dont mind any mistakes...I tried to write fast;)

**Disclaimer: **Blacklist is not mine (for details, see prologue)

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><p>Chapter 10<p>

"I don't think this is a good idea, Red."

"I think it is a wonderful idea, Lizzie."

This was a typical conversation between Liz and Red, not only was it always Red trying to convince her of some idea of his, but Liz also being not sure of it. Liz rolled her eyes at herself and Red's back.

"Wouldn't it be a beautiful picture? You, me, the snow…and Dembe."

Liz' eyebrows rose. The so called beautiful picture was quiet disturbing for her. In fact, not because she didn't want to be alone with Red…and Dembe. No, it was more like she was scared of being alone with him because she wanted to be alone with him.

When she looked up, she was startled to see Red standing directly in front of her and staring intently into her eyes.

"Don't you trust me, sweetheart?

The hurt in his voice made Liz swallow hard.

Of course she trusted him but the question was if she trusted herself. She was aware of her growing feelings for Red but what if he didn't feel the same way? She shook her head at herself. Too many what if's for her liking right now. Especially since Red was still waiting for an answer.

"I do trust you." Her voice was too weak though and Red frowned.

"I won't force you. If you don't feel like..."

"Red." she cut him off, her voice a bit sharper than intended. "I want to go."

Slightly calmer than before, Red gave her little grin and winked at her. "We will have so much fun!"

Two days later...

"Good lord, Lizzie." Red exclaimed loudly, upon seeing her packed suitcase. "I may be used to a lot of peculiar things women do, but this?"

Liz in turn gave him a confused looked, titling her head down to see for herself what seemed to be wrong with her baggage. Red had told her they would be gone for five days but since he didnt want to elaborate on their destination, Liz had to pack a variety of things and her suitcase had gotten bigger and bigger accordingly. Now she was standing there with a suitcase meant for two people and it was stuffed to the maximum.

"What?" Liz asked innocently. "I am a woman…I have needs. And you were too vague for any woman to be able to pack properly."

Red didn't answer but neither lost his smile nor twinkle in his eyes.

"Dembe, would you help the lady with her suitcase, please."

I can manage, Red." Liz argued and was about to reach for the handles of her suitcase when Dembe snatched them from her grasp.

"It's my pleasure." He added quietly, his friendly gaze lingering on her.

"Thank you." She breathed finally and walked over to Red, who was holding the door open for her.

"It won't be a long drive, Lizzie. Maybe two or three hours." Red informed her when they got settled into the leather seats.

"Where are we going?" Liz tried once more to find out where Red

"It's a surprise."

Huffing more in amusement than annoyance, Liz let her head fall back against the headrest and closed her eyes.

"I won't mind if you fall asleep, Lizzie."

"And you expect me to fall asleep after you told me that?" with still closed eyes, Liz smirked at Red.

"I merely stated a fact but please…do as you wish."

Silence filled the car like a thick smoke, but it wasn't as uncomfortable as it would have been two years ago. When Red's ears heard the first deep breathes coming from the woman next to him, he smiled contently and turned around to look at her.

Tenderly he swept away a few wild strands of hair falling into her face and finally Red reached under his seat to retrieve a red wool blanket. Gently placing it over Liz, he watched her snuggle deeper into it and sigh in her sleep.

"You have no idea what you do to me, do you? No idea at all." Red whispered, still following every single breath she took and watching her face.

Three hours later…

"Wake up, Lizzie. We're there."

Slowly her eyes slid open and she had to close them again quickly when the winter sun blinded her mercilessly.

"Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

"Because you looked adorable." Red stated matter of factly and straightened up from his crouching position. "Follow me inside, sweetheart. It's too cold out here for just a wool blanket."

Finally opening her eyes, Liz looked down at herself and almost flung the blanket from her when she hastily tried to catch up with Red, who was already a good distance away from her.

Dembe was waiting for her and fell into a brisk pace with her. Slowly Liz turned to him and whispered.

"Where are we?"

The man smiled and shrugged.

""You were driving, Dembe." She told him accusingly, but didn't get any other reaction than a smile. Resigning, Liz followed the two men into a cabin, where it was nicely warm inside. Shivering from the change of temperature, Liz wrung her hands together and took a long look around herself. Everything was made out of wood and the decorations were all country style. It looked nice and remembered her to some extant of her childhood home. The warmth and the familiarity that a home could radiate was something she remembered the most about the house she had lived with Sam in.

"Do you like it, Lizzie?"

Red had come up behind her and looked over her shoulder.

"It' really nice." She didn't want to ask again where they were because his answer would be vague at best.

"Make yourself at home, dinner will be delivered in just a few hours."

With that he miraculously disappeared and Liz was left alone. With only a few steps, Liz had entered the living room and gasped in surprise when she saw the huge Christmas tree standing. It wasn't decorated yet, but the size alone was impressive enough for her. It was beaming with a healthy green and standing rigidly in the corner of the room.

"Wow." She breathed. Most of the tree's Sam had gotten for Christmas have been only half the size, since Liz had almost always refused to help decorating. Later on, Liz had not bother buying any Christmas tree's because she had been alone and most of the time not even home and when she had married Tom, her husband had known about her feeling on Christmas and decided that they didn't need a Christmas tree.

Nearing the tree, Liz reached out and let her fingers touch a green branch. She listened into herself and to her surprise, she didn't feel any hate. Only a little twinge of sadness that her father wasn't here with her anymore, but the hate wasn't there.

"You're still here?"

Liz whirled around, finding Red leaning against the doorframe.

"I…well…I just wanted to look around."

Red pushed away from the frame and walked over to her, not meeting her eyes but looking at the tree.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"We will decorate it tomorrow."

"We?"

Now his eyes traveled down to hers and he smiled.

"Yes we."

"But I never…"

"I know. Sam told me."

Liz' eyebrows shot up and she took a step back.

"What do you mean, Sam told you?"

"You knew we were friends." Red reminded her.

"Yes…but I didn't know he was telling you things about me."

"That's what friends do, isn't it, Lizzie?"

Liz blushed and avoided his penetrating eyes for a moment, her thoughts racing through her head. How much did Sam tell him?

She was about to ask him, when her eyes caught something that made her still all movements.

Red's eyes followed her gaze and a knowing smile grazed his lips. He stepped away from her and let her pass him without comment.

Slowly Liz neared the fireplace, with her eyes still fixed on the object, innocently standing on the mental. The shiny globe was gleaming in the last rays of sun coming through the window and the scenery before Liz' eyes was so familiar and yet so ghostly unreal that she didn't know if she was still sleeping.

"Where did you get this?"

Her voice was husky. Unbelieving.

"A friend of mine made it for me. An exquisite piece of art, isn't it?"

"But…I have the same?"

"Do you?" he seemed surprised, but his eyes told her a different story. Turning away from him, Liz took the snow globe into her hands and carefully turned it from side to side. Everything looked the same. The lake, the girl ice skating and the man at the shore. Titling the globe slightly, she noticed something she hadn't seen before. Another man was standing at the tree line. Liz' mouth opened when she recognized him. Round eyes jumped from globe to Red and back.

"It's you."

"Is that an accusation?" Red asked amused by Liz' excitement, but not sure where it would lead.

"No, but….I have the same globe…only the man…you…" she paused, again looking at the globe to make sure she was actually seeing what she thought she was seeing. "The figure isn't there in my globe."

Red's warm hand took the globe from her hands and he looked at the globe in concentration.

"Really? How peculiar."

Liz took the globe away from him in frustration and put it back on the mental.

"Sam told me some uncle Redmont sent it to me."

"Hm…" Red's crooked smile made Liz angry. Why wouldn't he just once tell her the truth straight away? What was so hard about it?

"Red, please."

Instead of answering Red walked over to the sofa and slid onto it with a content sigh.

"You should relax, Lizzie. Come. Sit."

"Red." A warning, but Liz knew it wouldn't show any effect on Red, but to her astonishment, Red suddenly laughed.

"Lizzie, my dear. I admit. I did sent you the globe."

"Why? You didn't even know me."

She watched Red purse his lips and her eyes narrowed. Red had only a few tells, but the ones he had, Liz had learned like her own and she knew exactly what this one meant. She was wrong about her assumption that he hadn't known her.

"I've heard from Sam that you weren't that fond of Christmas….so I wanted to give you something to help you through the holiday ."

"I did, you know?"

"What?"

"Help me to get through the holidays."

Again Liz couldn't help but blush She walked over to Red and sat down next to him.

"Every year I was in a really bad mood around Christmas. I still am actually. But don't ask me why, I cant explain it myself."

"I wont ask, Lizzie."

She didn't thank him but smiled gratefully.

"When it got to bad…when my mood hit rock bottom…I looked at the globe and it helped to remember the good times I could have and I felt better."

Suddenly she felt her hand enveloped In Red's bigger and warmer one.

"How is it this year?" he asked curiously.

"I don't feel…the hate anymore." She admitted quietly. "Although I have more reasons than ever before."

Glancing over at Red she smiled.

"I think you are distracting me too much to wallow too much."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. And I promise you that I will be always there to distract you. AS long as you want me to be."

tbc...

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><p>Let me know what ya think:) I wish ya a great new years eve and a happy new year!<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

Hi there guys:) Here comes the last chapter of my christmas sotry.

I want to thank all of you who read the story and especially those, who took the time to comment! I know I was this time ver unpolite and havent answered your comments as much, but with it being christmas and all I just couldnt find the time to properly do so.

I do promise to do better in my next story again;)

Now...let's finish off this story with something fluffy:) Hope you'll like it!

**Disclaimer: **Blacklist is not mine (for details, see Prologue)

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><p>Epilogue<p>

Snow was falling down and clinging to the window glass. The house was pitch black, except for one window on the first floor. There was a small light emitting from inside and a shadow was falling onto the glass. Drawing nearer, one could recognize a woman sitting on the windowsill and looking longingly outside. The interior of the house lay silent and empty, not in serenity but in awaiting for something to happen. The woman watched the flame from her candle flicker as if it wanted to tell her something and she smiled for a second, before going back to look out of the window. Her dark hair was falling unruly into her pale, porcelain like face and she swept it behind her ear with a hand.

Her eyes suddenly grew wide and a twinkle appeared in them. With a big smile, she hopped down from her sitting place and ran across the room and turned a corner just in time to see the door opening and a man coming in, that was not recognizable behind the thick woolen shawl and the hat, falling deep into his face.

"Red!"

Before Liz could run up to him, Red craned his neck, trying to get his mouth free from under the material.

"Stay back, Lizzie. You're not supposed to see this."

"What? You struggling against the weather? C'mon, let me help you."

"Don't move." He growled at her and only now Liz noticed the big box he had in his arms.

"What's that?"

"Nothing for you."

Liz snorted at him and came closer.

"Lizzie, I told you to go away. Please, just for once, listen to me and do what I am telling you to do."

Seeing his serious face, Liz pouted and finally retreated.

"Fine. Be that way. I am taking a bath." Stopping halfway up the stairs, she turned around to Red and grinned. "Don't expect to be allowed to join me."

Inwardly Red groaned in disappointment but he didn't let anything show.

"That's quiet alright. I'll be busy until you come back down."

Liz frowned and sent him one last look that said more than a hundred words and finally disappeared from Red's sight. Heaving a sigh of relief, Red put the box down carefully and started to unwrap the layers of clothes from his body. He wouldn't say that he didn't like the cold, but coming so viciously today, was just inconvenient.

When finally the soft shawl hit expensive commode as the last piece to be shed from his body, Red bent down and groaned quietly while lifting the box.

"The age…the only thing not scared of me…age and Lizzie, of course." He murmured to himself, not able to decide if that was a reason to be mad or just amused.

An hour later he could hear he shower going off and calculated the time he would still have until Liz would be ready and come downstairs.

Laying the finishing touches on the decorations on the table and the bow he had bound around the box, Red let himself fall exhausted onto the comfortable sofa they had purchased only a week ago. After seeing Lizzie for the first time in her FBI wardrobe and noticing her sticking to that style, Red had feared for her common sense of fashion but he had to admit, that after living with her for a year had taught him otherwise. She may not be the snappy dresser that he was, but her taste in decorations and accessories was dwarfing his own by miles and miles. Whatever safe-house they entered and stayed for longer two weeks, it formed into a comfortable cave with modern but also country style touches. Their current house was a reoccurring lodging and the owner didn't mind leaving their rearrangements as they were. That made this house Liz' favorite, which in turn made Red happy.

A commotion coming from the stairs made Red's head whirl around and a smile break out on his face when he saw Liz coming down in a small bathrobe, reaching only to the middle of her thighs. Mouth watering, he watched her reach the last stair and hopping down from it with a small jump in her step. She was so darn beautiful, especially when she purposefully tried not to be.

"You want to come here and open your present, sweetheart?"

Although she couldn't hold back a surprised look, Liz managed not to squeal in prospect of an early Christmas present. It was Christmas Eve and her old friend the hate of Christmas hadn't been to visit her yet. It hasn't been since the beautiful Christmas at the cabin with Red.

"Present? Today?"

She smiled, walking up to Red and bending over so that she could give him a soft kiss.

"I see you are done sulking."

Responding to the kiss immediately, Red's hands wandered mindlessly to her waist and pulled her down onto his lap. Her warmth was penetrating and the smell oranges and cinnamon made his head spin.

"Ah." He groaned in pleasure, after tearing his lips from hers. "You smell nice." Burying his nose in her neck and inhaling deeply, he smiled when he heard a quiet moan escaping her lips.

"No time for this, darling. You have to open your present."

Nudging her from his lap, he regretted instantly losing the feeling of her against him. He would never tire of it and to everything in his power to not ever miss it again for too long.

Liz' beaming face turned away from him and she focused on the big box. It was wrapped in red wrapping paper, shining as if polished and the bow that was wound around it was huge.

"It's big." She stated, walking towards it cautiously, almost like a child-

"That it is." Red agreed and pulled one leg over the other, leaning back and relaxed. "And I will tell you that it is heavy as well. So don't try lifting it."

Liz kneeled beside the box and started unwrapping the bow immediately. The anxious happiness in her stomach was back again and she marveled at how easy it was for Red to evoke it in her.

When the first layer of wrapping had fallen of, Liz was left with a blue plastic box, with two clips on either side. Frowning, she started to open them, but Red interrupted her with a chuckle.

"Just turn the box around, Lizzie. You'll be able to see what's inside."

Doing as he said, Liz started to turn the rather heavy box around and when suddenly a high pitched sound came from it, she let go of it and stared at it. Eyes huge, cheeks starting to turn pink, Liz looked back at Red questioningly, but he didn't offer any explanation. Slowly she rotated the box further and what she saw made her breath stop in her lungs for a moment.

"Oh my god…." She whispered and with trembling fingers opened the small door made out of bars.

A small bundle of fluff came jumping out at her and she caught it just in time to prevent it colliding with her knees.

"Red…"

Looking at the St. Bernard puppy, memories flooded her mind and made her gasp.

_Santa…_

_A man giving him to her. In a box. Sam agreeing to keep the little puppy._

_The man smiling at her, holding his hat in his hands. Red. The man was Red._

Holding the wiggling puppy in her arms, Liz turned around to the man she had never remembered meeting as a child.

"You? You gave me Santa?"

Red chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment but then answered.

"Yes."

"We met?"

"Yes, we did."

A tear escaped Liz' eyes and rolled down her cheek. Immediately Red was out of his seat and next to her.

"Sweetheart, I am sorry I've never told you but I thought it was just too dangerous for you to know."

"I know." Liz sniffed, burying her face in the soft fur of the puppy who was glued to her shoulder now. A long time ago she had started to accept Red's decisions as something she not necessarily liked, but something that was always done to protect and to safe her. Sometimes from things she had no idea of yet.

"God, thank you Red."

Red could see in her face that she wasn't only thanking him for the new puppy, but also for Santa. She couldn't explain it without breaking out in tears and he didn't need an explanation. Where she lacked in verbal communication, Liz always astounded him with her ability to express her feeling through her eyes. One look and he knew what she felt.

"You are so very welcome, Lizzie."

He sighed, before continuing.

"Since Hudson died just half a year ago, I wasn't sure if you were ready to have a new dog in the house, but I stumbled upon this breeder on my last visit in Virginia and well…"

Without warning, he had Lizzie and a puppy attached to him, squeezing the breath out of him in joy.

He patted Liz' back and dropped a lingering kiss ono her head.

"How do you want to name him?" he finally asked when he felt his own eyes starting to get wt.

Liz leaned back and grinned.

"I always imagine calling my dog Red, you know?"

"You will _not _do such a thing."

Liz rolled her eyes, lowering them to the puppy. She lifted it from her lap, where it had found a place to rest and looked at him.

"He is kind of chubby, isn't he?"

Red and Liz both stared at the dog in her hands and the puppies expression showed his unhappiness about being ogled from tail tip to nose.

"What about…Bigfoot?"

The puppy and Red gave almost the same protesting sound upon hearing that.

"Ok, ok…" Liz smiled. "No reason to freak out."

She thought for a while and then pulled the dog to her chest, cuddling it with a satisfied smile on her lips.

"His name is going to be Sam."

A tender look spread over Red's face and his arms wound around her waist, pulling her and the dog against him.

"That is a wonderful idea."

The End

How did I do with the fluff? I guess my next story will be more action packed again:)

Some wishes? Then let me know while you comment on this last chapter:)

Greetings and until next time:)


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